This is a lamentation of a female Tiger cadre Jenny, who died in a recent battle with the Sri Lanka Army in Parapakandal, located in the Mannar district. After her death, letter was recovered from her.
The letter reveals the mentality of the female cadre who was recruited forcefully by the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam to be a cannon fodder in a meaningless battle which has so far killed more than 20,000 LTTE cadres alone.
In one of the letters found on the body of the female cadre reveals that she did not join the LTTE voluntarily. She was forcefully conscripted. She knew very well that she will never be able to leave the grip of the Tamil Tigers. Her yearnings to be reunited with her father, mother, sisters, brothers and others in the family did not materialize.
"When will I be able to get out of this hell? I am not sure whether it might ever happen," she writes with frustration and finality. The letter has been translated verbatim.
Loving Appa, Amma, Raj ini, Dercy, Gamri, Kuyinsa, Tharakutti, Thambakutti ... I am all right. I pray God that you be blessed. Is Amma well?
There is a rumor here that something has happened at home.
I am crying and shedding tears here. Our handler will send us home if there is a problem at home. But nobody knows whether it would ever happen.
I send a latter to Amma. The person who undertook to deliver the letter promised to bring back a reply from Amma. But so far I have not heard anything from that person.
I already send five letters home. Did you receive them? I will send this letter by hand through Suda teacher's Shanthi (English teacher at Pudukudirippu).
I am now at the rear base of Mullikulam in Mannar. The area is always shelled. We use to run to bunkers for safety. When will I be able to get out of this hell? I am not sure whether it might ever happen.
Amma, Appa, Raj ini and all, I always remember you. Don't unnecessarily waste your time thinking about me and fasting without food. If Amma falls sick seriously, inform me. Then they will arrange to show her to me.
Amma, don't worry about me. I am all right. Can't help. This is the path that God has crated for me I live with the hope that some day or other God Almighty will reunite us.
Appa, I am safe here by the Grace of God that you daily worship. Amma, do they still arrest the family members of deserters? Now they abduct two if there are five in the family.
Amma, please sent away Sarasila to Vavuniya. Otherwise, she will also be abducted.
How is Jagsa? Is uncle writing to you? What is Thuvajara doing? How is Shashi Akka?
Getting my release from here is only a dream, but you must not be moved by that. Let's wait and see whether they will leave me to go home.
I am sorry that my age is passing. What else shall I write?
Dercy, Kawsita, be careful don't be obstinate.
Kara, Kutti, Thambi you also be careful. God bless you.
Jenny finally finds peace in death, sacrificed for the lost cause of a megalo maniacal culture which has yet to learn to live in harmony with other communities.